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it's the glowing sunset!!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

gone with the wind


nine left...

then six left

tomorrow..there will be only three

i love you.. sorry furballs...

everything i love slowly dissappear

leaving me alone

good bye baby

another tough moment for our family

to let him go...

it's cruel world out there my dear

cruel enough for a baby like you

it's time to be independent

it's time to choose your own shirt

it's time to buy your own food

it's time for you to have friends

which you never had any.. before

just remember

we'll never left you behind

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Patah hati

You Just Dont Know

Patah hatiku

Membawa derita

Merajuklah diri

Merajuk diri

Tak tentu haluan

Kuharap janjimu

Bahagia selalu ... sayang

Rupanya patah

Ditengahlah jalan

Patahlah hati

Teruslah merajuk

Merajuklah sampai

Merajuk sampai

Ke hutan belukar

Hati yang panas

Kembalilah sejuk ... sayang

Burung terbang

Sangkar balik ke sangkar

Thursday, May 6, 2010

story of the moon

bulan sabit

Last night... I looked out my window. Pointed my eyes to the sky. There ain't no stars. Only the moon. Bright and shiny..yeah.. you're still the same. Moon... remember those time I looked at you... talking about how beautiful are you, what is your shape looks like at the time..sometimes you are pearly full round shape, sometimes like the doraemon pocket. Remember all my childish talk and song of the moon. All the giggles and cute jokes. When the distance is so far... the moon is the metaphor for borderless bound between us.

But the moon is no longer entertain me. The brightness of the moon didn't brighten my heart. Lenka's -like a song is my lullaby. A haunting melody and dark emotion spread in my room... tears on my red  pillow and memories of unforgetable moments.

"time make it go faster
or just decide
to come back to my happy heart"

Friday, April 30, 2010

a broken bone is stronger

myspace comments

What would happen if we got back together
They do say that broken bones bind stronger
could we be stronger too?
We probably lie, fight, and hurt each other, again
and get sick of it
and go our separate ways
forgetting how much we missed each other
forgetting how much we regretted it all

Thursday, April 29, 2010

acidic diet. let's give a shot

a new start of diet. i'm no longer hungry. the fist day is awful. i think my stomach is full of acid. Just vomited some this morning. Let's see how things go today. Will I be more slender?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

the white rose of eternal love

This is actually a translated lyric of a chinese song. Given by someone to sooth my feeling, the time where I'm lost and alone. The song that I listen again and again, until I memorized every single line of the chinese song. Tong Hua means fairytale. Sorry ed, doesn't mean to use your tagline :p. Now I have the same feeling and this song keeps playing in my mind. Fairy tales are always beautiful. Everybody feels good when reading fairy tales. But does it comes true? Well, basyirah said life is wonderful. It is...Thanks Allah for still giving me chance to breath. Thanks for surviving me through this whole day. -You are the eternal love ever after

Fairy tale are always a tale.

I've forgotten how long it has been
since the last time I heard you
Tell me your favorite story
I have thought for a long time 
I start to panic
Wondering if I have done something wrong again

You told me you cried
That everything in fairy tales are all lies
I couldn't possibly be your prince
But perhaps you don't understand either
Ever since you told me you loved me
All the stars in my sky have brightened

I'm willing to become the one in the fairy tale
The angel that you love
I extend this pair of hand
and turn them into wings to protect you

You must believe

Believe we will be like we are in a fairy tale
Where blessing and happiness in the ending

~when the whole world ignored me
only you couldn't leave me alone~

edisi bahasa pasar

Semalam saya ngan ain turun bincang ngan ketua umh. Banyak gak yang tak puas ati. Pasal bil dan tuduhan2 diorg kt kami-the master room girls. nyampah! nak cakap ape2 face 2 face la makcik. Ade ke... sebab ada member2 kitorang datang tumpang tido jadi punca bil letrik naik 200%. Orang datang tu senior2 kitorang dari rumah sewa lama. Datang sebab ada urusan fakulti, hantar report praktikal, jumpa lecturer. Diorang takde pun bawak laptop. Ye la... diorang cas henset sampai bateri penuh. Tak sangka yer... cas henset ni pakai karen tinggi. Kagum sekejap kitorang duk pikir tentang kerelevenan tuduhan diorang. Rasanya kipas tetap berpusing dengan kelajuan yang sama. Lampu dalam bilik pun 2 bijik tu je takde bertambah menjadi 4 bijik bila tetamu datang. Ntah apa2 la nak kutuk org. Macam la diorang takde ajak member kat rumah. Apapun saya ngan ain tetap bertegas yang bil kali ni ada silap. Tengok tarikh bacaan akhir pada Januari, bacaan semasa dah bulan April, no wonder la sampai banyak tu. Ada la pakcik letrik silap tekan ape2 kt mesin ajaib dia tu... ni cam ape ikottt jer nak byr ikut jumlah dalam bil. Takde ciri2 celik pengguna langsung. 

Dan beberapa isu2 peribadi yang berbangkit. Mungkin tak patut ckp tapi terkebil2 jugak dia menjawab bila kami tanya. Cakap kat blakang kemain lagi. Bila depan senyum2 je. Memang la banyak salah faham berlaku bila hanya kami berdua+ asma je yang lain course. Tapi tu bukan sbb utk korang berpakat nak ketepikan kitorang dalam apa2 urusan kt umh. Kalau ada yang tak puas hati sila la bagitau dan kitorang leh cuba untuk perbaiki apa yang patut. Bukannya tutup pintudan potpet2 dalam bilik. Masing2 dah matang kan. Barang2 kitorang yang hilang secara misteri pun kami takde nak ckp byk kali. Erm... tapi maaf, saya tak halalkan apa yang dihilangkan tu. Jawablah exam korang dengan cemerlang..moga berkaaattt.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

may this pain take away my sorrow

Today's paper.. critical review of malaysian literature in english (mr.sidik class). Luckily the questions only about one novel-The Scorpion Orchid... questions of issues regarding to the society in Singapore during 1950's (the year of several riots; National Service Riot, Hock Lee Bus Riot, and the famous one- Natrah case). I don't spend to much time drafting. Just write down everything in my mind so it will flow to the answer booklet. I want to answer it as fast as possibly so my knowledge won't spill. haha.. how can the knowledge actually 'spill'. The truth is I'm afraid I will fall asleep because I stay up quite late last night. I can see some of my friends have their nap during the exam.  Even I can answer it.. i mean ok la.. long essay for each question. But.. not hoping for an A bulat result because the coursework mark is suck! Mr.sidik is not as generous as usual.

Today, i cook ayam masak pedas cili. Maybe not so 'lemak' because i only use instant coconut milk (powder) and only half of the powder. Forget about the santan. There is insiden happen when i tumbuk2 the chilies. Ada yang terpelanting terkena tangan dan jari. The result is- some of my hand part and few fingers are swollen. It looks a bit reddish. Very painful because it feels like burning your hand. Well, some people may not experience this. But chillies are surely NOT my friend. I have stomach ache if i take any spicy food. But still love it. My hand is still 'burning' now... when typing this. Wowww.... hot hot hot.

 the innocent ayammm..

my swollen hand and fingers

I still don't know what is actually happening between us. Each day seems to be more complicated. I hope everything back to normal and still waiting. 

Money... money.. money... where else to get it. The electric bill crazily increase from rm80 to rm300. Haha.. macam baca bursa saham. Already ask the stupid TNB and they can't do anything about the unsual charge. So, what to do.... tomorrow I'll have some maggie from Saivon mini mart.

Monday, April 26, 2010

orkid kala jengking and silent revenge

Reading the scorpion orchid by Llyod Fernando. The mysterious Tok Said, 1malaysia friends (Santi, Sabran, Guang Kheng and Peter) you know why i said 1malaysia. and Sally Yu@Salmah Yub. Interesting hipothesis by our classmates about this women (Sally). She might not even a human, means that her character represent Singapore. She loves anyone that comes to her. But after the rape incident- no more trust towards strangers and even her close friends. I can't read the full novel... nice story though. I'm not purely literature lover. Sadly to discover this. Thanks to those who did a very good job providing all this notes. Nice work. 

Sunday, April 25, 2010

the distraction of two piece of bread and a crispy chicken meat

kfc zinger

don't know why... suddenly i really... tempting to eat this.. argh!! (drooling). God...it's exam...exam... focus!!! wait aa...zinger. sooner or later i will get you babe.

i'm drowning in sociolinguistic notes! aiyaaa.... why there's so many things that i've never read. so many sentences to highlights. the zinger keeps flying in my empty mind because i can't absorb things i've read. yeah...dialects, creoles, pidgins, language and gender, language and zinger....

Saturday, April 24, 2010

the heart track

my heart is beating fast. what is happening. Allah... please keep away all the bad things.

leaving on a jet plane...

counting days to end this semester... a few more days to be with him.

hope your leg gets better soon. next time don't play too hard. Sorry for dragging your injured leg to pasar malam. you seem not happy at all. i will leave soon. and two month is not a short period. i want you to be happy...

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you


another heartache day... makes me wondering pictures in my lappy. and read ed's entry makes me smile. ahh..beautiful place.

this is actually the same slideshow that i put in my other blog (missliyana). i miss the sunset and the happiness in the island. and pure friendship is priceless!

celebrating halim

just back from answering the worst paper in my life. now i'm lying on my bed... restless, headache and terribly hungry. smell delicious cooking of my housemates.

and I cannot cook without cooking oil. dah habis.

Friday, April 23, 2010

it does matters

if you didn't show your love, then i bet your heart full of hatred
if your heart is not full of hatred, then show your love
i live with those words
in my every breath

the butterfly effect

this right moment. i'm still struggling with grammar and stuff. dizzy and tired. rest for a while and spend a few minutes here.  Hmm...do you know about butterfly effect? things you did will cause something in future. well i think it's happening now. things that i did in the past start to haunting. chasing me and nowhere to hide.

so sad that i'm not myself anymore.

maybe i should admit the truth

it's ain't the same.

attention! back to grammar notes please. urgghhhh!

the spider web

it is the spider web
tough and strong
through crazy wind and rain
in hurricane of fears
and flood of tears
yet soft and pure
like cotton thread
with diamond drops in the morning

trap this heart shaped creature
with your gluey lines
never let it away

hold the tree arms
dear webby hold it tight

April 23, 2010
2.30 a.m

Thursday, April 22, 2010


it has been a while i didn't see u smile...

i am a drakulita...

the weather is so nice for a nap lover like me.. always rainy and windy.. aargh..it's a curse! i sleep most of the time. what about the notes? what about the grammar items? what about halim??

i have a bad habit... biting my lips. it's so dry... licking make it worse. i will bite till my lip's bleeding. then i turn into drakula...haha, no lahh. since it is rainy nowadays, sometimes i forgot to take enough water. yea.. forgot to drink because i sleep more. The liquid is reduce rapidly through tears... another swollen eyes this morning.


I can see that you've been crying
You can't hide it with a lie
What's the use in you denying
That what you have is wrong
I heard him promise you forever
But forever's come and gone
Baby, he would say whatever
It takes to keep you blind
To the truth between the lines,

I will love you more than that
I won't say the words
Then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that

Baby, you deserve much better
What's the use in holding on
Don't you see it's now or never
Cause I just can't be friends
Baby knowing in the end, that..

There's not a day that passes by
I don't wonder why we haven't tried
It's not too late to change your mind
So take my hand, don't say goodbye

banner picture..

this is actually a sketch by my beloved sister, aneesa. she draw a picture of herself and me. the one with long hair is me. funny and cute. she is good in drawing butterfy... i've seen her butterflies everywhere even at toilet's door. ahh..kids.. no matter what they do, still "awww.. comelnyer"

dear sayang

it has been years i knowing you. i love you more than anyone else. i trusted you more than my own family. i sharing you all my thought and feelings. i love you for who you are.

wall of love

sacred words

don't know why i'm thinking of this blog. hmm..nowhere else to write. my head in chaos. still in exam battle. so sad that he don't know how much i luv him. i have nothing to say accept three sacred words- I LOVE YOU, always.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


just starting this new blog.